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And to specifically address your husband’s friend’s wife, that does seem potentially sticky. Remember that you’re looking for something fairly specific, and that means it might take some time before you find someone whose interests match up with what you have to offer. Be alert for indications that they haven’t heard or have forgotten your boundaries, such as discussions of a future you don’t want or that disregards your relationship with your husband. Ask your potential partners what they’re after, and ask them to use specific hypothetical examples. Figure out what, for you, demarcates the line of romantic relationship: Define what you do and don’t want, and communicate that as thoroughly as possible. Casual friendship with sex is, in my experience, one of the hardest things to maintain without slipping into an emotionally serious relationship. The tricky part is going to be getting people to hear your boundaries and internalize them. The male psyche is a little ridiculous, I realize.
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At the same time, I really want to shed my insecurity about her getting freaky on the low with our old friend but not me. Simply put, I’m not going to do something she says she doesn’t want. She claims it’s a hygiene issue, but I feel like that is easy enough to solve. She seems to enjoy porn that contains it, and she’s had it and liked it before, but doesn’t want it from me. I’m quite happy with our sex life, except that one thing. She is not the most (or least) sexually adventurous person nor am I. I’m very attracted to my wife I couldn’t feel like a luckier guy. The biggest of these details is that she told me he performed a particular act for her, one that she enjoyed-an act she won’t let me perform on her. While we have come a long way, it’s taken me a long time to get over this because of certain details. This took place about a year before we were engaged, so a long time ago. I’m Noticing a Troubling Pattern in Bed Among the Younger Men I’m DatingĪ couple years ago-about 10 years into our marriage and amid our trying to fix some desire discrepancy issues-my wife confessed that she cheated on me with a good friend of ours, someone who was in our wedding party and has since made moves on her. We Thought Opening Our Relationship Would Be the Hard Part.
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